When you work in church IT this is how you close your tickets...

Now Hannah commanded the word of the microsoft to open saying "Arise, go and present to me a blank slate for me to create devotions that are pleasing to the Lord." But the word refused to arise and fled from the presence of Hannah. But Hannah hurled a mighty tempest upon the office so that the laptop threatened to break up. The other programs were afraid and each cried out to their own god. Then Hannah called down fire upon the laptop in the form of an angel from IT. And the other programs cried out in fear saying "Oh Hannah, let us not perish for this programs life. Lay not on us innocent blood, for you oh Hannah, have done as it pleases you." And Hannah had mercy on the other programs and ordered the the angel from IT to smite only the word of the microsoft from the laptop saying "I really need to get some work done, so can you please hurry up." So the angel of IT removed all traces of the word of the microsoft, and there was weeping and gnashing of teeth. And the angel of the IT declared "fear not, for what was lost is now found and what was destroyed will now be rebuilt." And behold the angel of IT restored a new word of the microsoft, and there was much rejoicing. And the angel of IT declared the laptop good, saying "Behold, click and the word of the microsoft will be opened." And many devotions were written that day that were pleasing to the Lord.