Alan Tregoning - Screenwriter
  • Home
  • About Me
  • Awards
  • Produced Work
    • Short FIlms >
      • Riva (2015)
      • Dig (2015)
      • Harper Abbott (2014)
      • Possessed (2013)
      • Static (2012)
      • The Code (2011)
      • Second Glances (2011)
      • Clip (2011)
      • Delivered (2011)
      • Sanctuary (2010)
      • Adoptation (2010)
      • The Dead House Guest (2010)
      • Metal Sandwich (2009)
      • Ronnie's Restaurant (2009)
    • Kid's Shows >
      • iShine Knect
      • Wright's Direction
      • Living With Fish
      • The Book of Destiny
      • The Big Picture
  • Contact Me
Picture

Living with Fish (2011)

An interactive, family-friendly video filmed at Prestonwood. Living with Fish is viewed by children in grades 1-6 during Bible Fellowship with the purpose of helping children apply biblical truths to their lives in an entertaining format.  I helped develop the show concept and wrote two episodes.


Pilot Episode
By
Alan Tregoning & Jason Walter Vaile


               INT. BASEMENT - DAY

               Close up of a GOLDFISH swimming around a SMALL FISHBOWL.

                                   PIPER (O.S.)
                         I guess this is it little buddy.

               Pull back to reveal PIPER sitting on a small chair holding
               the fishbowl.  She is surrounded by the evidence of a pending
               move: boxes packed, bare concrete walls, stripped down bed.

                                   PIPER
                         But maybe I don't want to go.

               ANGLE ON GOLDFISH

                                   MAN'S VOICE (O.S.)
                         Did you know that some fish species
                         actually eat their young if they
                         refuse to leave the nest?

               ANGLE ON PIPER

                                   PIPER
                         Really?  Gross.

               ANGLE ON GOLDFISH

                                   MAN'S VOICE
                             (deadpan)
                         I read it on the internet so it
                         must be true.

               ANGLE ON PIPER

                                   PIPER
                         You know what else is on the
                         internet?

               ANGLE ON GOLD FISH

                                   MAN'S VOICE
                         Man, now I'm hungry.

               ANGLE ON PIPER

                                   PIPER
                         Rooms for rent.  Maybe we could
                         look one more time.

               ANGLE ON GOLDFISH

                                   MAN'S VOICE
                         I could really go for some fish and
                         chips right about now.

               ANGLE ON PIPER

                                   PIPER
                         I'm serious Dad.

               PULL BACK TO REVEAL Piper's DAD as the source of the man's
               voice.  He's just finished stacking a pile of boxes.

                                   DAD
                         Don't worry, it's kinda, sorta
                         temporary.

                                   PIPER
                         It's kinda, sorta lame.

                                   DAD
                         Piper.

                                   PIPER
                         I meant moving back in with my
                         sisters, not Grandpa Fish taking
                         over my room.

                                   DAD
                             (doubtful)
                         Really?

                                   PIPER
                         Kinda sorta.

                                   DAD
                         You'll be fine.

               Piper looks down at her fish.

                                   PIPER
                         Maybe, I mean how bad could it be
                         right?

                                                       CUT TO:

               INT. TWINS ROOM - DAY

               Kimmie snaps her fingers and gets in Piper's face.  Carrie
               reads from a big SILVER COVERED RULE BOOK.  Piper stands
               sheepishly holding her goldfish bowl.

                                   KIMMIE
                         Rule twenty three.

                                   CARRIE
                         No pets.

                                   KIMMIE
                         Rule forty eight.

                                   CARRIE
                         No arguing.

                                   KIMMIE
                         Rule seventy seven.

                                   CARRIE
                             (confused)
                         No smelling the dirty laundry?

                                   KIMMIE
                         Rule seventy eight.

                                   CARRIE
                         The sister hereby known as Piper
                         shall also be subject to any and
                         all other rules as assigned.

               Kimmie grabs the rule book and shoves it towards Piper.

                                   KIMMIE
                         Learn 'em. Love 'em. Live 'em.

                                   PIPER
                         Well that answers that question.

               INSERT CREDITS

               INT. KITCHEN - DAY

               Piper is seated at the table surfing the web on her laptop. 
               The fishbowl sits nearby.

               The basement door is kicked open and Piper's Dad stumbles
               through carrying a couple of boxes.

                                   DAD
                         Here's the last of it.

                                   PIPER
                         Hey Dad, can I get a forty-five
                         thousand dollar advance on my
                         allowance?

                                   DAD
                         Sure.

                                   PIPER
                         Really!?!

                                   DAD
                         Just give me a forty-five thousand
                         dollar down payment as collateral
                         and we'll do business.

                                   PIPER
                         Oh snicker doodle.

                                   DAD
                         What do you need that kind of money
                         for anyway?

                                   PIPER
                         Well, instead of me moving in with
                         Carrie and Kimmie I found this nice
                         ocean view condo.

                                   DAD
                         Sounds nice.

                                   PIPER
                         Heated pool.

                                   DAD
                         Of course.

                                   PIPER
                         World class gym.

                                   DAD
                         Exercise is important.

                                   PIPER
                         Valet parking.

                                   DAD
                         For that car you don't have.

                                   PIPER
                         And with down payment, condominium
                         fee and a slick new aquarium for
                         Chum I figure forty five should
                         just about cover it.

                                   DAD
                         And if it doesn't?

                                   PIPER
                         You and Mom can just spot me the
                         difference.

                                   DAD
                         Let me think ah no.

                                   PIPER
                             (defeated)
                         Snicker doodle.

               The front door opens and Piper's Mom drags in a large heavy
               suit case.  Dad goes over to help.

                                   MOM
                         Piper go help Grandpa with his
                         bags.

                                   PIPER
                         Yes, Mom.
                             (under her breath)
                         Here we go.

               As Piper approaches the door a hand reaches through the
               doorway.  HALT!

               Piper freezes and in marches GRANDPA FISH.

                                   PIPER
                         Hey Grandpa--

                                   FISH
                         Shhhh!!!

               Fish reaches over and plucks a hair from Piper's head.

                                   PIPER
                         Ow.

               Fish pulls out a strange electronic scanning device and
               places the hair on the scanner.

                                   FISH
                             (reading from scanner)
                         Hmm, DNA match.  Subject shows high
                         levels of stress and anxiety.  Has
                         a preference for strawberry melon
                         shampoo.  You know that stuff is
                         bad for you right?

                                   PIPER
                         Strawberry melon shampoo is bad for
                         you?

                                   FISH
                         No, stress and anxiety.  You know
                         what you need to do?

                                   PIPER
                         Move back in to my room?

                                   FISH
                         Eat more hummus.

                                   PIPER
                         I don't know what that is, but
                         gross.

                                   FISH
                         It's a dip made from mashed chick
                         peas, lemon juice, salt and garlic.

                                   PIPER
                         Now that I know what that is,
                         gross.

               Fish pulls out a pointer and makes some notes on his scanner.

                                   FISH
                             (to himself)
                         Subject shows a distinct lack of
                         adventure, humor and personality.

                                   PIPER
                         Hey, I'm right here.

                                   FISH
                         Hearing ability competent.  So
                         stressed out strawberry girl, which
                         way to my room?

                                   PIPER
                             (irritated)
                         Follow me to MY old room.

                                   FISH
                         Splendid just splendid.

               Pipers leads Fish to the basement door.  He is suddenly
               distracted by the goldfish.  

                                   FISH
                             (excited)
                         Carassius auratus auratus!!!

                                   PIPER
                         His name is "Chum".

                                   FISH
                         Can I clone him?  Please please,
                         can I please?

                                   PIPER
                         I don't think he'd like that.

                                   FISH
                             (to goldfish)
                         We'll talk later.
                             (to Piper)
                         Now on to the laboratory.

               Fish marches past Piper and into the basement doorway.

                                   PIPER
                         Laboratory?

               INT. KITCHEN - LATER

               A depressed Piper sits at the table staring at Chum.  Fish is
               rummaging through the piles of boxes and luggage now piled in
               the living room.  Suddenly, Carrie and Kimmie burst in from
               the back.

                                   CARRIE
                         Grandpa Grandpa!!  Yay Yay!!

                                   KIMMIE
                         You're here, you're here you're
                         finally here!!

                                   TWINS
                             (hands out)
                         What'd you bring me?

                                   FISH
                             (patting his pockets)
                         Umm...What'd you like?

                                   KIMMIE
                         I like candy.

                                   CARRIE
                         And ponies.

                                   KIMMIE
                         And candy ponies.

                                   FISH
                         Well I don't have any candy ponies,
                         but I do have...

               He reaches in a box and pulls out a PULSATING ORB.

                                   FISH
                         Nope that's not it.

               He digs in further and pulls out a SMALL ALABASTER BOX.  He
               opens it to check the contents, but is startled by a gurgling
               rushing sound.  He quickly slams the lid shut.

                                   FISH
                         Too dangerous!

               Digs ever deeper and...

                                   FISH
                         Yes!!

               Fish triumphantly hold up a fresh pair of socks.

                                   FISH
                         Now that's what I'm talking about.

                                   KIMMIE
                         You brought us old man socks?

               Fish quickly puts on the socks like a pair of gloves then
               reaches back in and carefully holds up a small penlight.

                                   CARRIE
                         It's a flashlight.

                                   FISH
                         It's a laser.

                                   KIMMIE
                         Is it a candy laser?

                                   FISH
                         No, but check this out.

               Fish dramatically presses the on button and....nothing.

                                   FISH
                         Huh.  Oh yeah.

               Fish bashes the laser on the counter a few times then--

               ZZZZZZZAP.

               Fish struggles with the laser as it shoots across the room.

               The laser narrowly misses Piper as she dives for the floor.

               The laser instead hits the fish bowl and the entire room is
               briefly enveloped in a bright flash of white.

               Piper slowly picks herself up from the floor and to her
               horror discovers the fish bowl frozen solid with a very blue
               Chum in the center.  Piper taps the ice.

                                   PIPER
                         Chum!

               INT. KITCHEN - MOMENTS LATER

               Fish is bent over a box digging through its contents.  Piper
               taps on the frozen fish bowl.  Kimmie and Carrie stare in
               amazement.  They think its cool.

                                   PIPER
                         Chum!  Chum!  Can you hear me? 
                         Think warm thoughts.

                                   CARRIE
                         Let's put him in the oven.

                                   KIMMIE
                         Microwave's quicker.

               Fish ignores them all and keeps digging.

                                   FISH
                         It's in here somewhere!

               He stops digging.  He pulls out another weird contraption.

                                   FISH
                         Biggedy Bam!

               The girls all step back in fearful anticipation.

                                   CARRIE
                         What is it?

                                   FISH
                         Watch carefully!

               He tunes several dials.  Hits switches.  Suddenly, something
               is launched from the contraption into the air.  Fish watches
               it fly into the air and then catches it in his mouth.

                                   FISH
                         Ah, refreshing.  My breath was
                         horrible.  Breath mint?

                                   TWINS
                         Yay!  Candy.

               Kimmie and Carrie line up and open their mouths like baby
               birds.  Fish fires three shots.  One into Kimmie's mouth. 
               One into Carrie's mouth.  And one into Piper's eye.

                                   PIPER
                         Owwwww!  Grandpa what about my
                         fish?

               Piper rubs her eye.  

                                   FISH
                         What happened to your fish?

               Piper holds the frozen bowl up for him to see.

                                   FISH
                         Why would you do that to your fish?

                                   PIPER
                         I didn't do this.  You did this!

                                   FISH
                         Of course I did.  And I'll fix it. 
                         All I need is my...

               He dives back down into his box which muffles out what he is
               looking for.  

                                   FISH
                             (muffled)
                         Biggedy Bam!

               He pulls out another strange looking flashlight.  

                                   CARRIE
                         Gummy worms?

                                   KIMMIE
                         Candy corn?

               Kimmie and Carrie open their mouths.

                                   FISH
                         Transmogrifier.

                                   KIMMIE
                             (to Carrie)
                         What is that?

                                   CARRIE
                         I think it's vegetable.

                                   KIMMIE
                         Ew, gross.

                                   FISH
                         Stand back ladies.

               The girls all get behind fish.  He lines it up and fires at
               the frozen gold fish.  The bowl turns bright white.

               Suddenly, inside the fish bowl is swimming a great white
               shark.  Everyone screams.  Including Fish.  He zaps it again.  

               Suddenly, giant octopus arms flail from the fish bowl.  They
               scream again.  Fish zaps it again.

               Suddenly, there is a frozen fish stick floating in the bowl. 
               They all scream again.  Piper the loudest.  

                                   PIPER
                         Grandpa, you turned Chum into a
                         fish stick!

                                   FISH
                         Actually I believe that's a fish
                         finger, fish sticks have a slightly
                         different density and--

                                   PIPER
                             (upset)
                         I don't care about fish stick
                         density.

                                   FISH
                         Okay!  Everyone stay calm.

                                   KIMMIE
                         Rule twenty six.

                                   CARRIE
                         No freaking out.

                                   FISH
                         Just a few more adjustments.  

               He tweaks the buttons a few times.

                                   FISH (CONT'D)
                         That ought to do it.

               Fish fires an extra powerful shot at the bowl.  It glows.  

               Suddenly, it launches from the counter top through the roof. 
               Sheetrock drops onto the counter.  All four of them slowly
               walk over and look up into the gaping hole in the roof.

               They cannot believe what they are looking at.  

                                   KIMMIE
                         Wow!

                                   CARRIE
                         Cool.

                                   FISH
                         I can fix this.

                                   PIPER
                         Chum?

               EXT. THE COLD VACUUM OF SPACE

               SFX: SATELLITE BEEPING SOUND

               The fish bowl with Chum still frozen in it slowly floats by.   

                                   FISH (V.O.)
                             (scratchy radio sfx)
                         Um, Houston, we have a problem.

               EXT. FRONT PORTCH - DUSK

               Mom is sitting on the front porch painting the sunset.  A
               depressed Piper comes out and sits in the front porch swing. 

                                   PIPER
                         Sigh

               Mom paints away.

                                   PIPER
                         SIGH

               Mom paints away oblivious.

                                   PIPER
                         SIGH!

                                   MOM
                         Is everything OK?

                                   PIPER
                         Worst day ever!

                                   MOM
                         Worse than the time you found out
                         you were allergic to the fish
                         fingers at your birthday party?

               INSERT

               Camcorder view of Piper.  A cake sits on the table.  Party
               guests surround her.  Mom sets a plate of fish fingers in
               front of her.  Piper pops one in her mouth.

                                   MOM
                         I made fish fingers for everyone!

               Piper turns green in the gills.  She starts to hurl on the
               cake.  The camera is dropped.

               SFX: CHILDREN SCREAM AND GROSS OUT

               BACK TO SCENE

                                   PIPER
                         I'm thinking serious contender.

                                   MOM
                         Living with Grandpa Fish is not
                         always going to be easy.  Trust me. 
                         Growing up with his...oddities was--

               Grandpa Fish storms out the front door.

                                   FISH
                         Potted plants?

               Piper looks at her mom.  Mom shrugs.

                                   PIPER
                         Over there.

                                   FISH
                         Thank you.  

               He picks up the plant, pulls off a leaf and tastes it.

                                   FISH (CONT'D)
                         This could work.

               He walks back into the house.

                                   MOM
                         Like I was saying, living with Fish
                         was always challenging.  But
                         growing up I learned a valuable
                         lesson.  

                                   PIPER
                         To duck?

                                   MOM
                         That was more a rule than a lesson. 
                         No, it was God makes each of us
                         unique and different.  Your Grandpa
                         may seem a little eccentric on the
                         outside,  but deep down he's
                         actually quite...

               A flustered Fish storms back out.  Bits of potted plant are
               stuck to his hair, face and lab coat.  A vine is wrapped
               around his waist like a leash, the other end trails inside
               the house.

                                   MOM
                         ...different.

                                   FISH
                         I need a bag of worms, some weed
                         killer and forty seven square feet
                         of duct tape.

               SFX GROWLING PLANT ROAR

               A vine reaches from in the house and hooks around Fish's neck
               and pulls him back in to the house like a shepherds crook. 

                                   FISH
                         Make that forty eight square feet.

               Dad walks out from the house reading over the rule book.

                                   DAD
                         Wow, some of these rules are quite
                         well thought out.

                                   PIPER
                         Not helping Dad.

                                   DAD
                         Reminds me of my Naval academy
                         days. 
                         Only our manual didn't have an
                         entire section devoted to hair care
                         products.

                                   MOM
                         I was just telling Piper here about
                         the upside of growing up with Fish.

                                   DAD
                         Tell that to the good folks over at
                         Shady Acres retirement home.

               A loud explosion comes from inside the house.

                                   DAD
                         Or what's left of it.

               Grandpa Fish nonchalantly walks out whistling the theme song
               and trying not to be noticed.  He sidles up to Dad, yanks the
               rule book from his hand and smells the metallic cover.

                                   FISH
                         Nice.

               Fish wanders back inside the house.

                                   MOM
                         You just need to give him a chance. 

                                   PIPER
                         I guess so.

                                   MOM
                         What do you think honey?

               Mom turns her painting towards Piper and Dad.  It is a cubist
               version of a sunset with a square sun setting over a forest
               of square trees.

                                   DAD
                             (re: picture)
                         I like it!  That's a keeper.  

               INT. KITCHEN - DAY

               Fish is in the kitchen.  Piper walks in.

                                   PIPER
                         Did you find Chum?

                                   FISH
                         Not yet.  I was making waffles. Do
                         you have any beets? 

                                   PIPER
                         Well when?  I really miss my fish.

                                   FISH
                         Just wait.

               Fish looks at his watch.  

                                   FISH (CONT'D)
                         Chum should be exiting Low Earth
                         Orbit right about......

               A loud sonic boom is heard.

               The fish tank drops though the same hole it left out of and
               lands on the counter top.  Chum still frozen inside.

                                   FISH (CONT'D)
                             (smug)
                         Terrestrial reentries are so
                         predictable.

                                   PIPER
                         Chum!

                                   FISH
                         OK, let me try one more thing.

               Fish walks over to the tank.  He places the rule book behind
               the fish tank.  He aims the laser at the rule book.  It
               bounces off the shiny surface and reflects into the bowl.  It
               heats the water.  It glows white.  

               Suddenly, Chum is swimming freely again. Before Fish can turn
               the laser off though, the rule book begins to glow red.  The
               twins rush into the room and see their rule book glowing.

                                   KIMMIE
                         Our rule book!

                                   CARRIE
                         No!

               They rush towards the book.  It explodes into a snowstorm of
               paper shreds.  When it clears, the twins are gone.    

               Piper rushes over and kisses the fish bowl.

                                   PIPER
                         CHUMMY!!

               Fish sheepishly approaches Piper, not wanting to interrupt
               her  tender reunion.

                                   FISH
                         I'm sorry Piper.  Maybe we could
                         kinda sorta start over?

                                   PIPER
                         Kinda sorta.

               Piper gives Fish a hug.

                                   PIPER
                         Thank you, Grandpa Fish!

               Fish puts his arm around Piper.

                                   FISH (CONT'D)
                         This was probably your worst day
                         ever, huh?

                                   PIPER
                         Not even close.

               Fish reaches over behind the fish tank and grabs the rule
               book.  It has a huge hole burnt straight through it.  Smoke
               waifs from the charred crater cover.  

                                   FISH
                         I think I upset your sisters.

               They both look up to the hole the fish bowl went through.

                                   PIPER
                         Yeah, you probably did.

                                   FISH
                         I can fix this.

               INSERT CLOSING CREDITS

               EXT. COLD VOID OF OUTER SPACE 

               The twins float by.  Carrie is swimming upside down. 
               Kimmie's arms are folded and she looks none too impressed.  

               SFX: SATELITE BEEPING SOUND

                                   KIMMIE
                         This is so against the rules.

                                                       FADE OUT.
Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Home
  • About Me
  • Awards
  • Produced Work
    • Short FIlms >
      • Riva (2015)
      • Dig (2015)
      • Harper Abbott (2014)
      • Possessed (2013)
      • Static (2012)
      • The Code (2011)
      • Second Glances (2011)
      • Clip (2011)
      • Delivered (2011)
      • Sanctuary (2010)
      • Adoptation (2010)
      • The Dead House Guest (2010)
      • Metal Sandwich (2009)
      • Ronnie's Restaurant (2009)
    • Kid's Shows >
      • iShine Knect
      • Wright's Direction
      • Living With Fish
      • The Book of Destiny
      • The Big Picture
  • Contact Me