Alan Tregoning - Screenwriter
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The Dead House Guest (2010)

Predjucies are revealed when a girl brings her Zombie boyfriend home to meet the family. 

This was a Zombie version of "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner" written for the 24 Hour Film race.


INT. GOTHIC DINING ROOM - EVENING

Fancy china and crystal glasses are carefully set. The meticulous placement of polished silverware.

MARGARET, dignified matriach of the Bluttrinker family, proudly straightens a family portrait set on the mantle.

RICHARD BLUTTRINKER, her husband, thoughtfully compares two bottles of RED WINE. He makes his selection, then...

MARGARET

Not tonight dear.

Richard reluctantly swaps the bottles.

SFX: DOOR BELL

MARGARET

Here we go.

RICHARD

Excellent!

Margaret trots out to answer the door.

Richard looks painfully at the bottle of wine to be drunk.

The joyous sounds of welcome drift in from the next room.

AMANDA BLUTTRINKER, a cute college freshman, skips in and makes a beeline for her father. They embrace.

AMANDA

Daddy!!

RICHARD

Come here you. So where is he?

AMANDA

Daddy, I want you to meet...Morty.

MORTY THE ZOMBIE staggers in. OH....NO....Awkward

RICHARD

But, but he's a--

MARGARET

Guest, Richard. He's our guest.

RICHARD

Excellent.

Richard swaps the wine back to his original selection.

MORTY

Graa blaaa blaaaa

SUBTITLES

You have a very nice house, Mrs. Bluttrinker.

MARGARET

Thank you, Morty. You can call me Margaret.

MORTY

Graa blaa blaaa

SUBTITLES

You too, Mr. Bluttrinker.

RICHARD

Thank you, Morty. You can call me Mr. Bluttrinker.

Margaret gives him a dirty look.

RICHARD

Would you like to see my shotguns?

MARGARET

Who's hungry?

LATER

A silver spoon dips into a bowl of BLOOD RED "TOMATO" SOUP.

The spoon is lifted and Richard takes a loud accusatory slurp as he suspiciously stares down Morty.

In front of Morty the fancy china and silverware have been replaced by a more modest setting and plastic utensils.

His zombie hands stumble and fight to hold the spoon. Uncomfortable stares as the spoon rattles about.

MARGARET

So where did you two meet?

AMANDA

At Morty's work.

EXT. FAST FOOD RESTAURANT DRIVE THROUGH - FLASHBACK

Amanda pulls up to the menu. The speaker crackles to life.

MORTY

(over speaker)

Graww wawww blawwww.

AMANDA

No, just a number two, extra rare.

MORTY

(over speaker)

Grabble wabble babble.

Amanda pulls to the window and is greeted by Zombie Mortimer. Their eyes meet. Her heart skips a beat. True love found.

BACK TO SCENE

AMANDA

It was love at first bite.

Amanda chuckles and her lame joke. Morty mumbles a stifled zombie laugh and slaps the table in amusement.

MARGARET

Just like us honey.

Richard grunts his disapproval.

MARGARET

Who's ready for mains?

MOMENTS LATER

A plate of bloody rare steak and sides sits before Morty.

At the other end of the table Richard ravenously cuts in to his steak and takes a bite.

RICHARD

This isn't "brain" food per se...

A trickle of blood drips down his chin which he quickly wipes away with a napkin.

Richard takes a sip from his wine glass.

RICHARD

Now there's a decent red. Tell me Mortimer, what are your plans?

AMANDA

Morty's studying to be a brain surgeon.

Richard spits out his wine.

RICHARD

They'll let him do that?

MARGARET

(careful)

Richard.

AMANDA

He's very smart.

Morty awkwardly picks up the steak and tears at it with his teeth. Fail.

RICHARD

I can see that.

Amanda sneaks out her CELL PHONE and send a text message.

Morty fumbles for his cell phone and checks the message.

ON MORTY'S PHONE

The Message: "Sorry :("

Morty mashes the phone keys.

ON AMANDA'S PHONE

The Message: "dsh;dsowc; uefp;apwofh aosiwourajd"

SUBTITLES: I love you.

Amanda gives Morty a discreet thank you smile.

RICHARD

What was the name of that boy she dated last summer?

AMANDA

Daddy!!

RICHARD

Margaret you remember. His Father's that hematologist.

MARGARET

Richard, you're embarrassing her.

RICHARD

Her! What about me? My own daughter brings this...thing into my house and I'm just supposed to act like this is normal.

AMANDA

But Daddy, I love him.

RICHARD

Is that all there is? Any knocked up zombie babies on the way?

MARGARET

(stern aside)

RICHARD!! The "Z" word.

Amanda grabs Morty's hand and drags him out the door.

MORTY

Gruzzle wuzzle fuzzle

SUBTITLES

Thank you for dinner.

MARGARET

Any time.

The door slams.

INT. BEDROOM - LATER

Richard and Margaret flop back on their pillows.

RICHARD

You know it's for the best.

A frosty silence.

RICHARD

They're monsters.

MARGARET

Are they?

She lets this sink in.

MARGARET

Good night.

Richard ponders her question.

RICHARD

Yeah, they are.

He reaches into his mouth and removes his teeth and plops them into a water glass.

He reaches up and pulls down the lid of his COFFIN BED!!!

His VAMPIRE TEETH settle to the bottom of the glass.

FADE OUT.

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  • Home
  • About Me
  • Awards
  • Produced Work
    • Short FIlms >
      • Riva (2015)
      • Dig (2015)
      • Harper Abbott (2014)
      • Possessed (2013)
      • Static (2012)
      • The Code (2011)
      • Second Glances (2011)
      • Clip (2011)
      • Delivered (2011)
      • Sanctuary (2010)
      • Adoptation (2010)
      • The Dead House Guest (2010)
      • Metal Sandwich (2009)
      • Ronnie's Restaurant (2009)
    • Kid's Shows >
      • iShine Knect
      • Wright's Direction
      • Living With Fish
      • The Book of Destiny
      • The Big Picture
  • Contact Me